A Bittersweet Gift

Hello everyone, we’ve had another long day. My Sweet Baby Eleanor gave me such a bittersweet gift this evening. She took charge and left no doubt that she is ready to go, sparing me from having to choose. Even in death, she just keeps blessing me. How precious, how giving, how beautiful she is. And always will be. So many of you have sent us your love and support, I honestly haven’t even been able to read and hear them all yet. Please know that I want to give a personal reply to each, but cannot keep up. But, when I take a break and leave her bedside, you are all with me as I go down the hall and listen and read your love. Thank you, every word has given me strength. Which I happen to need a lot of right now.
I know a lot of people want to help, want to do whatever they can for us, and really the sad part is, the only thing I truly need is beyond all of our reach. But, since I can’t have my baby back, I have been thinking of things I could ask from each of you. First, go hug your babies. Hug them till they tell you you’re squishing them. Hug them in person (especially the older squeemish ones). Then, loosen your grip slightly and in honor of one of Eleanor’s and my personal traditions… give them 100 kisses all over, with the last one on their nose. Feel free to blame me.
The next thing you can do is honor her. There are as many ways to do this as there are of you… so, post a favorite memory (yep, just for now I’ll lift my overprotective Mom ban on posting pics of my kids), talk with your kids about her, remind her how much she loves them, going to school with them, playing with them, and going to church with them. Let them know how important each of them is to Eleanor and how blessed she was to know them.
After that, please consider joining us, Derek, Myself and Isabella on Saturday as we celebrate all the most beautiful things about Dear Sweet Eleanor Lilly. Share your thoughts and memories, don’t let her memory die, never forget. Bring pictures, stories, quotes, art. Prepare to cry… mostly tears of joy!! Please contact Silver Creek Fellowship in Silverton for details, we are expecting it to be Saturday.
All are invited, the more of you who can make it, the bigger the honor of my precious baby girl. Share this post, pass it on, come on Saturday. Tell the world how beautiful she is, forward this, especially to each and every brave hero who has been through this journey with us so far… from our dear sweet Home Group friends who helped me get her down and began cpr, to the heroic medics, to the deputies who investigated to be sure Eleanor was not hurt on purpose, to Chris who drove me to the ER and prayed with me the whole way, to the pastors and chaplains and social workers and nurses and doctors who were with us at Salem ER, and each and every staff member who litterally clammored to give chest compressions when Eleanor coded so many times, to the poor docs who let me yell at them to NOT GIVE UP UNTIL SHE DOES, the wonderful nurse assigned to keep me from fainting, to the PANDA team who drove like crazy to OHSU (with a nurse from Salem who decided to come with and help out on her own time plus the one who came to drive her back home to Salem), to the docs and nurses who have been so very carefully caring for Eleanor with the utmost respect. Of course family and friends and people who have never met us but prayed hard anyway, and people literally all over the world lifting us up… THANK YOU.
I especially invite you to share with the professionals if you know them, they are legally bound and may not know much about how Eleanor is now, they… you ALL are personally invited to celebrate with us on Saturday, I want you to learn about my precious baby girl, who she was, how she lived and all she is doing now to save some other children (and their families from grief).
Eleanor is (IS not was) beautiful, so let’s honor her by never forgetting, and by hugging those we love. Such a blessed Mamma, Susan and Isabella.Image

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