Smiling Through Tears

And look! Even Miss Eleanor can smile through tears…

Good Evening All… I know it’s late, don’t worry, I will save you the trouble and self-scold just like Bella “you need your sleep” “grieving is hard work” “take care of yourself”.… there, now that that’s out of the way, I have news!

I received a package in the mail today and inside was a beautiful memory box for some of my treasures of Eleanor, but inside was a lot of information about grieving etc. and my first letter about Eleanor’s recipients!! I got to know a couple of details about two of them (the kidney donors) -they are both adults and can now be off dialysis.
WAY TO GO DOC ELEANOR!! I am so excited to learn more about them and have a chance to tell them about her. There are no notes about the other recipients yet, but I am so excited. And so proud.

People keep telling me I’m so strong, trust me, this isn’t my strength I’m using… my praiseworthiness is limited to my openness with Him and letting Him take care of my heart. And a heck of a lot of that care comes directly from all of you. Thank you. I am also aware that I am not the only one grieving… so many of us lost Eleanor. I want to encourage you to do whatever it is that helps you. I have attacked some weeds in my garden (perhaps a little too much zest?? Naaaawww); I’ve done a ton of crying; a lot of sleeping; some shopping; returned to work (that was tough, but day two was much easier); visited a friend in the hospital; went and had lunch with Eleanor’s class on Thursday just like I’d been doing for the past couple of months (tough one); talked to her; talked to some of you; cried some more; snuggled Bella; visited with counselors and ate yummy food that I didn’t have to prepare! I’ve sat in her room; laughed; put away some of her things; and talked to her and God almost constantly. I hope that more and more good can come out of this horrible thing that sin meant to ruin. Telling her story is good. Sharing her organs is good. Laughing and crying is good. Holding one another is good. Forgiveness and appreciation are good. Writing is good. Confronting God with every last feeling and thought we have is very very good. One thing that has helped me is to move…. you know, excersize. Tomorrow one of my many sweet and wonderful friends is holding a zumba class in honor of Eleanor. I’d like to invite you to come. I will be thrilled to dance with you, but more than that, I know it can be good for us all. So, how about it? Come heal with me??

P.S. My mom plans to be there with her leg up and iced just like doctor said. She will be in the very back row cheering us on. So, even if you join the back row sitting and watching the rest of us, I guarantee you will have a wonderful time!!

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Just in case you couldn’t see it in the smaller pic, she still has a tear on her cheek but with her big beautiful smile. If that isn’t inspiration, I don’t know what is!!

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