I can’t say today was better or worse… it just was. Crying is my new norm. Ugh. My most interesting tidbit of thought from today is in regards to how all the old books and movies and legends describe people who’ve passed away as sometimes getting ‘stuck’ in between worlds. They roam around, sort of vaguely aware of where they are, searching for something that seems just out of reach. They long for it, demand it, seek it endlessly. But, they can’t seem to find it. And without it, they can’t move forward, but they are not able to go back either. In the stories, if they’re lucky these ‘ghosts’ manage to find that peace. They settle a score or reveal the truth, or recover a beloved item. I never bought into that explanation of life after death (nor do I now). In fact, I’ve never been more sure of peace and true happiness and contentment immediately following death as I am now. But my interesting thought is that really, the ‘ghosts’ those old stories describe are actually representative of those of us left behind to wrestle with a new reality that simply doesn’t fit. Luckily, I am assured that even though this is so very painful, it won’t last forever in this state. There is healing and comfort, and even a future. I don’t have to imagine it or find it or anything like that, what I have to do is cling to Him, and trust that He can make even this into beauty. Thank You Lord, for everything.
Oh and Lord, I hope she’s got her very own John Deere up there. She was soooo ready to drive!